rubbish post

If anyone STILL staying tuned on my blog (which is like impossible), I am now writing here cos I can't find anywhere else to write atm.

Recently, life's going on well. NS owned a big part of my life which is sad n fucking no choice. I am rather confuse although I am very clear of what I'm doing right now. Just that everything seems so unreal. The big question mark, WHY? I don't understand why she's doing this or why I can't do it. I am very disappointed at myself.

How long more or what am I waiting for? I don't know. What if this chance is gone again? That's what happen everytime. And i've to wait for yrs again. I know I don't want this to happen but why can't I take the action?